What happens when you cross prehistoric killer fish with Spring Break? The answer is of course tits, muff and plenty of blood – but unfortunately not a very good film. Welcome to Piranha 3D
Piranha 3D is a remake of the 70′s classic designed for the modern film connoisseur, well that could be a bit of lie, the target audience generally seems to be men who enjoy watching hot chicks on Spring Break gyrating in their bikinis – awesome. They even manage to squeeze in some hot lesbian action and full frontal nudity thanks to a twist in the plot so clever Sir Sherlock of Holmes would be proud of the way it’s been seamlessly woven into the story. If you’re going to have the lads around then this film hits all the spots. It’s also short enough so that you can fire up the x-box after.
For all the great things about this film (namely the chicks), as a story it’s a bit shit. If you’ve ever seen the original you’ll be alarmed to know that this one doesn’t hold itself together even as well as that one. You absolutely will be screaming at the dip shits on screen for the vast majority of the film once things get moving.
Overall then it’s not a bad film to watch with the lads around, a few beers on the go to numb the brain and an expectation of not much more than some gentle comedy horror with tits and ass aplenty. Definitely not one for a nice quite family night in and definitely not one to show off your spanky new 3D TV to the in-laws with. Talking of which the Blu Ray version of this film comes with 2 types of 3D. Old school red and cyan cardboardy and the new real grown up 3D, unfortunately neither is really very good.